Helpless

I'm helpless.  I've done all the calling, double-checking, follow-ups, etc I can do on this current case we're working on.  After receiving a few more details re: the birth mother & the baby, I was able to call those in to the AZ Child Protective Services to add to the info I already knew.  I made the lady go over in detail, twice, what I could now to keep this going forward.

• She is going to send an e-mail to another person in the department.  They will research to see if there is even an open case on this child(ren).
• If there is an open case, they will place a note on their file saying that we have called & shown an interest in adopting this child(ren).
• They will then see if a family member or the current foster family has any interest in adopting the child(ren).
• If not, then the case manager will contact us to begin proceedings for us to move forward with an adoption.
• Since we're out-of-state, we would have to have to travel to Phoenix to have a face-to-face meeting with the child to see if the child bonds with Jonathan & me & visa versa.
• Depending on certain details of the case, we may have a longer 'trial period' in which we would have temporary custody of the child(ren) for a few days, again testing to see if a bond is able to be formed.
• If all of the above works out, then the adoption process could start to become final, & the child(ren) would be permanently released to us, their new parents.

Seems like a lot of things that have to swing in our favor, right?  I know.  I feel pretty helpless beginning with Step 1-wait to see if anybody calls us.  We won't be notified at all if things end up going a different direction & we're out of the picture.  We'll only be notified if we ARE in the picture.  For those of you who know me, I REALLY DO NOT LIKE talking on the phone.  That being said, I have NEVER BEEN SO ANXIOUS for my cell phone to ring.  How in the world am I supposed to cope for the next several days or weeks while I wait for my phone to ring to tell me that we're in consideration to be parents again?

Lame Duck

Have you ever found yourself waiting 'patiently' for something, knowing that the progress of your situation is at the mercy of a 3rd person?  Tell me about it.  Since we've been made aware of this adoption opportunity in Arizona, I've been carrying on with day-to-day life on the outside, but screaming on the inside as I've gone 9 days with not a word from that 3rd person.  I'd be thankful for even the word that there's no new news to report at this time.  I hate the thought that, if in fact these are our 2 kids out in Arizona, they are being forced to spend day after day without being HOME with their forever family because mommy can't move the situation forward because I have no idea where things at.

So what does a mommy do when she can no longer stand being separated from her possible babies?  She cuts out the 3rd person & blindly starts searching on her own, of course!  Yep.  This momma would not stand for being left in the dark any longer.  I found a phone # on the State of Arizona Child Protective Services website & called it.  After giving a brief description of the situation to the lady on the phone, she directed me to the correct people to talk to.  I'd like to say I have more news on the situation after those phone calls yesterday, but I do not.  I had to leave a voice message for the correct ladies, giving them a brief description of the situation, a little about our family, & my cell phone #, pleading with them to call me ANYTIME!!!  So here I am again - sitting like a lame duck in the dark, waiting for the light of dawn, or for some gracious person to put me out of my misery.  Even in my blackest night, I am not alone.  How does anybody do this without Jesus at their side?!

Navigating the Emotions of Another "Nibble"

We were recently contacted by a member of my mom's & dad's church in Arizona about a possible adoption opportunity.  It's the dream opportunity for us...a 16 month old girl & her 5 day old brother.  The mother is incarcerated & requested that this church member find a good family for her children.  Because mom & dad have shared our story & have requested prayer as we wait on God's timing, this church member knew of our story & stopped me to ask if we'd be interested.  Of course, Jonathan & I said 'yes'.  But that does bring to light a few other 'stressers' as we call them.  Additional childcare costs, diaper & formula costs, adjusting to being a family of 5 from being a family of 3, sleepless nights as parents of a newborn, etc.  We believe that adopting these children would be SOOO worth it, regardless of the 'stressers' it would bring.  Please, please, please join us & our families as we lift these 2 children up in prayer as they wait to be placed with their forever family (which we hope will be us).  If it is not God's will for us to have these children, we pray that He will grant us peace as we release our grip on this situation & continue to wait for the kids that will be ours...someday.